


waiting

by Anonymous



Series: don't get too close, you make it hard to let you go [1]
Category: Smosh
Genre: Angst, Car Accidents, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, not sure what else to tag without spoiling stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:08:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25704886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Shayne waits for Courtney to come back home.
Relationships: Courtney Miller/Shayne Topp, Damien Haas & Shayne Topp, Olivia Sui & Shayne Topp
Series: don't get too close, you make it hard to let you go [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1864210
Kudos: 15
Collections: Anonymous





	waiting

**Author's Note:**

> um hey, i'm new and haven't written for this fandom before but whoaaa oooops i guess i wanted to write some angst!! i'll definitely write something more light-hearted for this pairing if i find the motivation!!
> 
> i've never written something with a 'major character death' before, so let's see how this goes...
> 
> disclaimer: this is a work of fiction and should not be seen as a representation of the mentioned public figures.

Shayne tries to occupy himself while his girlfriend is away.

He makes himself breakfast (if he has the time), goes to work (or tries to listen to his online lectures if he's not working), makes himself dinner, maybe plays a game on one of his gaming consoles, then sleeps in the comfort of their bed.

It’s the same routine over and over again.

Sometimes before bed, he’ll read one of Courtney’s text messages. Tonight, he receives another one of those messages.

_Hey,_

_I’m sorry we haven’t been able to talk much these days. Work has kept me busy! And you know it’s hard with the time zones! I know you’re also super busy at work, so I hope this message is enough for now! I really miss you and I hope we can video call soon! I want to see you so badly! :(_

_Love you <3_

The man smiles at her message, then tries to call his girlfriend, only to get the same voice message.

_“Hooo hey, it’s Courtney! I can’t pick up the phone right now, but please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can!”_

He calls again, taking time to appreciate her voice, before leaving a short message.

* * *

_Hey hey,_

_I'm so sorry I missed your call...I had to stay back last minute to discuss something with the manager and someone from one of the company's partners. It went great though, and she looked impressed by the designs that I showed her!_

_..._

_Ah, you're probably asleep right now...we should try to arrange a video call soon._

_Sleep well <3_

* * *

_Shayne!_

_Just a quick message, can you believe it’s been nearly two months since I left? They’re actually putting one of my designs into action! :D It’ll take a while to complete, but it’ll be so exciting to witness it happening! I wish you could be here to see it too!_

_Talk to you soon? Still waiting to video call or even just hear your voice, we can never seem to find the right moment!_

_..._

_Wait, so there’s a florist near the building I’m working in and I just thought of how much you love flowers? If only I could send them a bunch to you from here, but they wouldn’t look like flowers by the time they reached you haha_

_..._

_ONE MORE THING, I’m still taking time to get used to the accents down here...makes me think of every time you try to do the accent! Anyway, love you, you huge dork <3_

Shayne chuckles at her last message, hugging his phone to his chest, his heart swelling at her words. He knows she’ll be away for a long time, but he’s okay with waiting for her while she accomplishes her dreams in Australia.

* * *

Damien and Olivia visit him one day.

“Hey guys, it's been a while! How are you?”

“We’re...better. Work’s kept us occupied.” Damien replies, glancing at Olivia, then back at Shayne. “And how are you feeling?”

Olivia is unusually quiet, looking at him with a strange expression...something akin to pity?

“Hey, what’s with that face, Olivia? I’ve been fine!”

Olivia gives him a small smile. “Oh, that’s really good to hear. We've all been worried about you.”

Shayne furrows his eyebrows.

_Why would they need to worry?_

“Hmm, what are you taking about? There’s nothing to be worried about...I’m just doing what I usually do while waiting for Courtney to come back.”

The smile drops from Olivia’s face instantly. Shayne notices Damien freeze up beside her.

“Shayne,” Olivia starts, “what do you mean by that?”

The blond shrugs his shoulders, confused with his friend’s question.

“I’m waiting for Courtney to come back while she’s still in Australia. Olivia, are you okay?” Shayne puts his hand on Olivia’s forehead. “You suddenly look really pale...”

Olivia pushes his hand away harshly, causing him to frown. “No need to be mean,” he mumbles under his breath.

“Please, you can’t be serious...” Olivia utters softly, a hurt expression on her face.

Before he can question it, Damien speaks.

“Shayne, do you remember what happened to her?” He turns to Damien, who’s looking extremely worried.

_Seriously, what’s going on?_

“...to who?”

His friend stays quiet, looking down at the ground with a sigh. He averts his gaze at Olivia, whose eyes are beginning to shine with tears.

”To who, guys? I don’t understand your question. Olivia, are you okay? Why are you tearing up?”

“To _Courtney_. Shayne, p-please don’t make this any h-harder.” Olivia croaks out.

Shayne’s confusion slowly turns to frustration.

“I still don’t know what you’re talking about!” What are his friends referring to?

“You can’t stay in denial. I know it’s hard, but you have to accept that she’s not here anymore.”

“Olivia, you’re not making any sense! Courtney is still-”

“Listen to me!” Damien shouts, before taking a deep breath when he sees Shayne flinch.

“Shayne, please listen to me,” he begins, this time in a softer voice, “Courtney is gone. She’s- she’s passed on.”

“What the fuck are you saying, Damien? You’re just joking, aren’t you? Well, it isn’t a funny joke.” Shayne crosses his arms, turning away from his friends. How dare they lie to him about his girlfriend?

She’s still _alive_ \- she’s still busy with work, that’s all. She’ll be back soon.

 _Right?_ The voice at the back of his mind is not so sure.

“Maybe you two should leave.”

Damien releases a frustrated sigh behind him.

“Dude, I’m not joking. I know it’s been a difficult time, but you can’t keep doing this. Please, it’s not fair on any of us.”

“But I- I have proof that she’s still alive!” Shayne turns around, glaring at his friends. Damien has an arm placed around Olivia’s back, trying to comfort the almost crying woman.

The blond gulps at the sight, before bringing out his phone, showing off the messages he’s exchanged recently with Courtney. “See, she texted me recently, only yesterday! Look, she’s-”

“Give me your phone.”

“Why should I? Hey!” Damien manages to grab the blond’s phone, pressing the call button to Courtney’s number. Shayne frowns at Damien as he continues trying to call her number.

“What- What are you trying to prove? Of course she’s not going to pick up! She’s working and she’s in a different time zone anyway!”

“Shayne, you never turned off that ‘find my phone’ feature, right?”

He _does_ remember turning on the feature on both his and Courtney’s phone in case one of their phones went missing. “So what?”

Shayne frowns at Damien as he registers a shrill beeping sound coming from inside his apartment.

“What- What’s going on?”

_How is that possible?_

Courtney’s not in the country.

_So what was that sound?_

Shayne’s stomach twists in a uncomfortable manner.

_It’s over, Shayne._

Deep down, he knows exactly what’s happened. He just doesn’t want to accept that-

“No, you can’t-” He tries to grab onto Damien’s arm, to stop him from going towards the source of the sound. But Olivia has already rushed toward his bedroom.

Shayne feels as if time has frozen as he enters his room, seeing Courtney’s phone in Olivia’s hand. He continues staring at the phone, the cogs in his brain working to process the image in front of him.

_That’s not possible…right? Why would I have her phone?_

“Shayne...” Olivia speaks softly, attempting to wipe the tears streaming down her face.

“No...NO! That’s- that’s just a coincidence! Wait, she bought a new phone, she-!” He turns to Damien, asking for his help, but his friend only shakes his head, looking at him in pity.

Shayne isn’t giving up though.

“Don’t-,” he points at the older, “Don’t say what I think you’re about to say! She sent me those messages...she d-did!” Shayne can’t hide the crack in his voice as he tries hard not to cry. He looks down, attempting to hide his watery eyes from his friends.

Shayne doesn’t move when he feels Damien’s hands grab onto his shoulders firmly. “Shayne, I know it’s hard, but this isn’t healthy.” He finally looks up to meet a teary eyed Damien.

“Courtney isn’t here anymore...please let us help you heal.”

“Don’t say that! She’s still here.” Shayne continues to protest weakly.

“Do you want to tell her parents that and see what they say?” Olivia asks him harshly, before regretting her words when the other releases a whimper.

“No, I-”

“I’m sorry,” Olivia says, grabbing hold of one of his hands. “I shouldn’t have said that. We’re still hurting in different ways, but you can’t keep this act up. You can't deny what happened. The crash-”

Memories of that day suddenly appear in Shayne’s mind.

He’d only sent Courtney off in her cab less than 30 minutes, before he’d gotten a call about his girlfriend being involved in a crash. He’d rushed to the hospital, only to be told by a nurse that he had been too late. He was later given Courtney’s phone, which was somehow still intact.

“I thought that was all just a nightmare...” Shayne’s voice fades out. His legs suddenly feel weak and if not for Damien and Olivia, he’d be on the ground. They both slowly help him to his bed.

Damien wipes his eyes before bringing up his phone to search something. “We all hoped it was.” He hesitates, before passing the phone to Shayne, revealing an article detailing the death of an aspiring architect. Despite the tears blurring the blond's eyesight, Courtney's name and photo are clearly visible in the article. 

“It’s only been a month since we last saw you. We did worry about you. You seemed alright outside, but after her funeral, I should’ve guessed something like this was happening. I'm sorry, Shayne, but you need to face the truth.”

The blond passes the phone back. He doesn’t say anything in response to Damien’s words, choosing to just stare at the carpet.

“I’m sorry we were too busy with our own lives to always check up on you, but we are always one phone call or message away,” Olivia adds. “...you know, Courtney would have wanted you to move on.”

Silence fills the room until Shayne turns to look at his friends.

The two wait patiently for him to say anything, to do anything.

Shayne puts his hands up to his face, exhaling a shaky sigh.

Then, finally, his tears fall.

“I’m so s-sorry, guys.” Shayne’s shoulders shake, and he buries himself into Olivia’s open arms, crying his heart out for the woman he’d loved (and still loves). Shayne knows that both Damien and Olivia care about Courtney as much as he does. He hadn’t meant to hurt his friends with his actions.

“I thought I could p-pretend that she was still here, maybe slowly let her go, you know? I m-miss her so much. Why was she taken away from me, f-from us, so early in her life?” He feels Damien wrap his arms around the two, rubbing comforting circles on his back.

“She never got to live her dream! She never got to see it all happen. I guess I deluded myself into wanting to make that dream happen for her.” Shayne moves out of his friends’ embrace to get something out of the drawer. He takes out a sketchbook, opening the book to reveal some impressive designs.

“Courtney used to talk about wanting to make these come true, but she never got the chance to.”

“M-maybe if I hadn’t made her late for her other cab, she wouldn’t have had to catch the d-doomed one. Or I should've just t-taken her to the airport myself.”

Damien and Olivia glance at each other, having not known about this information until now.

“It’s okay, you two can say it. It’s all my f-fault. I-“

“Shayne, no! It’s not your fault. None of us could have predicted what was going to happen to that car. It was out of your control.”

“But Damien-“

“Shh, don’t you ever blame yourself for that.” They both hug him again, Olivia caressing Shayne’s hair as the blond quietly cries, thankful for their company.

"I'm sorry for pushing you all away...I thought time away from everyone would help me, but as you can see..."

“No need to apologise. It’ll take time, but you’re strong and I know you’ll be okay.” He nods at Olivia’s words, tightening his embrace with his friends.

* * *

“Hey, so I finally managed to find someone who could build one of your ideas! I know you would have wanted to organise it yourself, but I didn’t want your ideas to go to waste! It’ll be built by the end of the year. I’m hoping you can see this while you’re up there...or down there...haha, just kidding!”

He places the bouquet of flowers in front of her gravestone, a colourful combination of roses, carnations and zinnias that remind him of her bright personality.

“Courtney, you know I’m not a believer of the paranormal, but if you can somehow hear me, I want you to keep reminding you that you’ll always be in my heart. It’s been three years since you left us, but I’ve never stopped thinking about you.

“I’ve tried...falling in love again, but things just haven’t worked out with anyone yet. Everyone’s told me it’s normal to still be grieving...and I should know anyway from my psychology classes, but it’s been hard, you know? I even joined a support group, which _did_ help a bit. I still think back to when I tried to fake the messages from you…that was so stupid, of course people would find out they were fake because, you know, you were already gone by then, ” he chuckles bitterly. “I’m just really glad Damien and Olivia knocked some sense into me. Imagine if your parents had heard about it…”

“If reincarnation is a thing, maybe we can meet next life? I’ll probably still be loud and annoying, but I’ll cherish you like I did this life, or well, even more. And as corny as this already sounds, hopefully we can also grow old together. Would you want that?”

He takes notice of the leaves around her gravestone rustling peacefully.

“If that’s you, then I’ll take that as a yes. If not, I’ll probably just chase after you until I find a life when you’re okay with us being together.”

He sighs.

“Anyway, I have to go, but I’ll see you again soon. Damien will come by tomorrow, and I’m pretty sure Olivia, Keith and Noah will stop by sometime next week.”

As he stands up to leave, he hears the wind pick up its pace for a short moment before settling down again. He smiles before turning around to walk back to his car.

“Bye for now, Courtney.”

**Author's Note:**

> this was kinda inspired by those AUs where the person still sees their lover alive and then wonders why no one else can see them.
> 
> anyway, thanks for reading - kudos and comments (including any constructive criticism) are appreciated!!


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